We are always wanting.
Wanting someone or something. Someone to be here or something to be true or to be mine.
I’m not talking about greed. To want peace or to want health or safety isn’t greed. Some of the want is invisible to us. We’re not sure what’s missing, but we feel the effects of the gap. It creates a tension about the future that provokes us…some of us, anyway…into action.
So it’s OK to have this wanting. It’s what life feels like.
And then there are moments when the want goes away. All of it. If only for a short time….moments, even.
A momentary relief of all that was wanting. And it happens even when only one want is relieved. An answer to prayer. A satisfaction. But with exuberance and profound relief.
Children get lots of practice at joy. Their wants are simpler so joy comes more easily. A gift. A surprise. A person. Joy abounds with children. In fact, I think we look to children for joy. They remind us how to do it. They remind us it’s there.
Grownup joy can bring that same thrill. The inner warmth, the excitement and glow. The peace.
There’s the joy of discovery. Of God. Of true love.
There are joyful moments when a tide is turned. A favorable decision, hard-fought. Election results. Job offers. Court decisions. A championship football game. The closing of escrow. A wall coming down.
Some of my favorite moments of joy are at seeing faces. Certain faces. Faces I love that love me and mine. Faces that know me and us and our lives.
The face of a loved one too long away. The face of sick friend, smiling and alive. The face of our child at the end of the day. The face of my mother. John’s face every day.
Last night, John and I found ourselves in Munich, Germany, at a table full of loved ones. We are far from our beautiful farm, and there are many people we wish could be here with us. But we had all travelled thousands of miles to meet in this place to begin an adventure together. Safe arrivals. Smiling faces long absent from one another. Good food and drink. All the want fell away.